ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
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after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
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FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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