ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
