on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
