and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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