thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
