just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
well you can't waste a boner
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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