i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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