so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
