Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
