The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
