I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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