just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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