Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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