Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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