i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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