rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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