i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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