we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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