she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
