Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize