I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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