Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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