my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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