so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
