I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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