I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
