If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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