just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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