dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
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Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
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It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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