you would pick up someone in the library
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
