I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
dude. I can hear the air.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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