Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
