My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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