I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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