Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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