I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
