im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
