You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
