I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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