How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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