The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
