He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Your penis caused this!
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