i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
