Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I will pee on everything he values.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize