were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Pooping to opera.
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