Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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