Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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