If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
