Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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