I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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