Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
