i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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