I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I booty called her while she was in labor.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
