Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Please, let me fuck your mom
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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