can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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