i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
