He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
love makes seman taste better
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
